Being my first semester as a student leader, I had a lot of expectations and hopes – to make a lot of new friends, to make a positive impact on the girls on my floor, and to use what I had learned and all of the growth I had over the summer to lead by example. However, the experiences I’ve had so far have not only been different than my expectations and hopes, but have taken those expectations and hopes to a whole new level.
The theme on our floor this year is “Grow”. I thought I was going to take on my new leadership position as Discipleship Leader and use it to take the girls on my floor under my wing and help them live out that theme. I thought I was going to take on the world. However, it didn’t turn out that way at all. In fact, I ended up being the one who needed the most growth, and I found myself under the wings of the girls on my floor – the girls who I was supposed to be leading, mentoring, and helping.
I ended up in a rough place this semester, dealing with some deep-rooted issues that I had never dealt with before – issues that nobody can deal with on their own. At first, I thought, “God, why is this happening NOW of all times? I’m supposed to lead.” What I didn’t realize was that a leadership position was the perfect place for me to be as I sorted through my issues. I found that the girls on my floor (the ones who I thought would expect leadership capabilities out of me) didn’t necessarily need a leader who was ready to take on the world. They needed a normal person just like them, someone dealing with issues just like them, whose goal wasn’t to take them under her wing, but to walk along side them in the harsh terrain that God sometimes allows us to go through in life.
So, to sum it up…during the worst time of my life, God chose to place me in a leadership position – not to lead by taking on the world, but to lead by living life in a community of girls who are just as broken and wounded as me. I found that leadership is not always about being out front, knowing the answers to everyone’s problems, and being the example. Sometimes leadership is about living life honestly, deep-rooted issues and all, in a community of others who desire to live honestly too.